


Not Like Anyone Else

by SacredMorningStar



Series: Marvel Drabbles, One-shots and Fics [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha James "Bucky" Barnes, Angst, F/M, Omega Reader, Reader Insert, Trigger Warnings, Triggers, WARNING! MENTIONS OF ABUSE, WARNING! STERILE READER, a/b/o dynamics, alpha bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-26 14:33:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10788648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SacredMorningStar/pseuds/SacredMorningStar
Summary: WARNINGS FIRST! This fic contains mentions of abuse and of a sterile reader. Please if something like this may trigger you please don't read. I do not want to upset anyone this is just a story and I have never been found to be sterile/infertile so I don't know what it was like however I have tried to imagine a story from the A/B/O Universe where this has happened.Story: The reader has been working with Bucky to help him settle into modern life. The pair have fallen for each other yet both of their pasts makes them believe they do not deserve the other. What happens when Natasha and Steve force the pair to face their insecurities and make them realise just how much they needed each other?





	Not Like Anyone Else

**Pairing:** James ‘Bucky’ Barnes/Reader  
**One-Shot/Chapter:** One-Shot  
**AU Type:** Bucky in Avengers facility ****  
Rating: Teen ****  
Word Count: 5,271

 **Warnings:** Mentions of abuse, sterile/infertile reader,

 

(Y/N) had worked in SHIELD as part of an aftercare team supplied for the agents to reduce and help with the stresses and any therapy they would need with the chaos of their lives. She’d been one of the people to help Steve settle into the modern life and had asked her to take on Bucky’s care knowing she would be one of the better options. He had experienced her care, how she acted with him, and had taken her in when the reality of SHIELD was revealed to them all; not wanting to leave her behind now he had gotten to know her. She had been comfortable and easy to talk to, someone that he had started to be around as a friend, and although he never thought her as anything more he cared about her. She was an Omega and he an Alpha and his instincts told him to care for her, to keep her safe, yet when they found Bucky and brought him to the Avengers facility she had been the first person he had asked for help.

 

She had been a little unsure of the new Alpha at first as he had been unpredictable with all the mixture of scents and the chaos in his mind. She had waited a month before she began to work with him not wanting to cause too much stress or add too much pressure on the already strained mind of the new Alpha. Over three months she managed to build a trust with him becoming his first call whenever something happened. He would call if he couldn’t sleep, if he felt himself getting stressed, if he felt he needed someone to talk to and the more support he had, from someone who didn’t expect someone he didn’t to come back, the better he seemed to slowly become. Steve had watched on as the pair began to build a strong relationship yet as the pair began to spend more time together he couldn’t help feeling jealous of their new relationship. He had been close to (Y/N) before and now he had Bucky back he’d hoped to have his best friend close too yet it seemed the time he spent with (Y/N) had dwindled to nothing while the Bucky he saw before him wasn’t the person he knew. It felt so strange for him to be on the outside of the group when before he had been the building blocks, been the core leader of the group.

 

Although Bucky wasn’t himself he seemed to be coping well with the changes going on around him. He had started to talk to the others in the team more, although it was his choice not to go on missions, yet he was still a little distant from Steve. He felt like the ‘all American hero’ expected something more from him than he could offer each time they spoke to each other and it made him feel like who he was now was never going to be wanted by Steve. Each time the pair spoke it seemed Steve would try to bring memories back that Bucky just didn’t have yet and it made him feel awkward and stressed each time. The only time it seemed he could talk to Steve without being asked for his memories was when the group would celebrate mission successes. The pair could drink, talk about a new film they had seen, just relax with each other.

 

It was one of these times that the pair had begun to talk about Steve’s relationship with Sharon Carter. He had invited her to the base for a drink with him and the team and he was just waiting for her to arrive. Bucky could tell he was head-over-heels for her and it seemed that brought up Bucky’s own interest. Although Steve hated to admit it he honestly thought he and (Y/N) were a great pair and seeing the way Bucky would look at her when he thought she wasn’t looking reminded him of the good old days. He could see a glint in his eye that he hadn’t seen in a long time and it felt good to have at least some part back even if Bucky didn’t realise it.

 

“So, do you have your eyes on anyone Buck? There must be someone you can’t take your eyes off.” Steve’s tone was teasing and playful as he sipped at his drink making Bucky roll his eyes a little.

 

“Yeah, maybe, not sure what she thinks of me though. Besides with everything going on like it is now might not be the best time. I’m doing well but I don’t think being with a dame would help, it might just be too much stress on her, and she doesn’t need my issues she’s got enough on her plate as it is.”

 

Bucky rubbed his shoulder feeling an ache, a habit he’d gotten since his memories were slowly coming back, and looked over to where (Y/N), Wanda and Vision were sitting talking and laughing together. In the few months they had worked together, he couldn’t help falling for her, for the person that saw who he could be not who he was, and yet he felt like he couldn’t be enough for her. He felt she deserved more, much more than what he could offer, yet his instincts called for him to be close to her, to be with her, to hold her. It seemed whenever he spoke to her, when they were in the same room, his mind seemed to calm and he seemed to think better. She had helped to soothe the chaos in his mind and he was sure it was thanks to her that his recovery had been going so well over the past few months. He had noticed her scent, the sweet scent from her was almost familiar, the first day they had met each other and it seemed to help him talk about whatever had been going on in his head.

 

“Bucky, you deserve to be happy, I’m sure (Y/N) feels the same way and you just need to talk to her about it Buck. You guys are more alike than I think you realise but you both need to talk to each other. You gotta encourage her to talk not just have her listen to you, yeah? Trust me, it can get a little tough, but if you break through then I think you’ll both get something neither of you thought you’d get.” He patted Bucky’s shoulder and smiled softly to him before heading off seeing Sharon come through the door. “Go for it Buck, you both deserve to be happy.”

 

Bucky still felt unsure, still felt like even if he confessed he wouldn’t be enough, but as he sat and watched her he could only feel his heart calling to her. He promised himself that in their next session he’d talk with her, he’d find a way to confess, and just hope that she would either accept him or would say no but still be close. He needed her, he knew that, and he was scared that if he told her how he felt she would pull away from him and he’d lose the one person that had truly helped him. He had a few days to build his courage up, to talk with some of the others in the team to see if they see what Steve does, but he could still feel his insecurities scratching at the back of his mind as he stood outside of her office. He berated himself for being so nervous, he was sure this was once something second nature, when he was an Alpha and all his instincts were telling him she could and should be his. He took a final deep breath and knocked on the door and came in when she called for him to come in.

 

The moment he stepped into the room he felt her scent calm him down yet he could still feel the insecurities lightly poking the back of his mind. He was slightly tense and he knew she could see with the way she looked him over concerned but she behaved the same as she always had making him feel much better around her. Slowly the session moved from how well he had been settling in, how he had felt at the recent party, and finally he found his opportunity to admit he cared for someone when (Y/N) had asked if he had seen anyone he found interesting at the party. He tried to find whatever his 40’s counterpart had that helped him deal with his crushes and women he liked yet that part of him never seemed to come out.

 

“So, you seemed to cope well at the party, lots of people were there and you seemed to manage really well. Was there anyone who caught your eye? I mean there were plenty of people so I mean it’s the most likely place you’ll find someone you like.” She hadn’t noticed the way he watched her for most of the night; happy to see her enjoying herself.

 

“Well, there was one dame who had my attention, but I’m not sure if she’s interested in me.” He watched her for a reaction; seeing a small frown cross her face. “She’s been around for a while and I really got a thing for this dame but I’ve not really had the chance to speak to her about it.”

 

He watched the way her eyes flicked around the room as he spoke. He kept his gaze on her and hoped that she could understand the hint and when she shifted a little in her seat he almost instantly regretted the careful admission.

 

“She’s the most beautiful woman I know, understands me more than I get myself most times, she’s helped me through so much and I’m sure I wouldn’t have gotten as far as I have without her.” He hoped she was just nervous about the confession. “(Y/N), I get this is a lot and if you’re not interested, I understand, just please don’t start ignoring me after this. I don’t think I could cope with losing you.”

 

“Bucky,” She frowned softly not wanting to hurt her close friend. “you’re an amazing man and anyone would be great to have you, but we can’t. I still want to be friends, still want to do this with you,” She waved her hand between them indicating their sessions. “Damn it Buck, I care about you, I do, but we can’t be together.”

 

The rest of the session was a little awkward, the pair a little unsure of how to react to the confession and rejection. Bucky had noticed she didn’t say she didn’t want to be with him, she’d said she couldn’t, yet Steve had seemed so sure that she would want to be with him. He wasn’t sure just why she’d rejected him but he was going to have some serious words with Steve. He could see she was a little tenser then she had been at the start of the session but he tried to settle back to how it had always been. The session seemed to drag a little longer than usual and (Y/N) seemed to be eager to get out of there making Bucky only want to yell at Steve more. He headed straight for Steve’s room while (Y/N) headed to the communal kitchen needing a drink before she planned to talk with Nat. The assassin had been one of the women she always went to when she needed help, when her mind was racing and she needed to calm it, and she’d seen the way Bucky’s expression had dropped when she’d rejected him; fearing this could be something that could trigger Bucky.

 

Bucky had felt his frustration grow and self-esteem knock his pride. Steve had been hinting for months he should have asked her out, had seemed so sure that (Y/N) had wanted him, and he had been the reason Bucky had even tried to ask her out. He’d have never honestly bothered if Steve hadn’t kept telling him he should and make him thin she’d even want him. He stormed into Steve’s room, after asking the AI system that helped them out where the hero was, almost ready to scream at him, only for it to become a confession of heartbreak; or something similar with Bucky not sure what that truly felt like.

 

“Steve, you know how you said you were sure me and (Y/N) should be together? Well, I don’t think you’ve ever been so damn wrong. Finally told her I gave a damn and she told me she couldn’t be with me, made me feel like a fool for even bringing it up because it made her so damn uncomfortable, I just hope I don’t lose her over this punk ‘cause if I do then your ass is on the line.” Bucky’s tone was sharp but Steve could see how the rejection had hurt him.

 

“Okay, Buck I honestly thought she liked you okay? I was sure of it. I mean the way she’d always make sure you’re okay, how she seemed to know your bad days before I ever could, she cares about you Bucky and I was sure it was more than just a friendship.” He sighed heavily and lay a hand on his shoulder. “You won’t lose her, Bucky, she cares about you too much to abandon you like that.”

 

To distract Bucky, Steve had them watch a film they had both been told they needed to. They enjoyed watching Star Wars together, Episode Four, and when the film was finished Bucky planned to train to wok off any remaining frustration so he headed towards the living areas to change into his training gear. While Bucky had spoken to Steve (Y/N) had been sat with Nat in her room, her nerves a little more settled after eating some food, her mind still reeling from the confession.

 

“God damn it Nat, he looked so broken when I rejected him, when I told him I couldn’t be with him. I’m sure he thought he didn’t and to everyone else he wouldn’t have seemed different but I could see it. I hated seeing that but,” Her voice broke slightly as she ran a hand through her hair. “I just can’t imagine trying to tell him. He’s an Alpha, from the 40’s, and I’m sure he’d hate that I couldn’t give him a family. You know the ideals they had then, you’ve seen the adverts and how everything back then has been knocked down now. Just ‘cause he doesn’t remember it all now doesn’t mean those ideals are still in there somewhere.”

 

“First, Bucky clearly cares about _you_ not that you’re an omega. You seriously think he’d be the way he is if he just cared about your presentation?” Nat frowned at (Y/N) not impressed with her thoughts making her duck her head. “Remember how you came to me saying that your hormones only hint you’re an Omega and nothing else? You told me that because of what your parents did to you, your scent doesn’t do what normal omega scent does so there’s no way what you’re thinking is true. Second, did you even ask him what his ideas on presentations are? You spend all that time talking to him but you never talk about anything other than what he remembers or what he’s been going through. You need to take a moment to talk to him as (Y/N) his friend and not (Y/N) the psychologist. We all see you both care a hell of a lot about each other, don’t need to be a trained assassin to see that, but both of you need to stop thinking you’re both better off if the person is with someone else. You think that would help either of you?”

 

The Omega curled a little into herself as the Alpha scolded her. She knew Nat always wanted the best for her, always saw the things she didn’t, but she wasn’t sure she was right this time. Nat had been the one person she’d truly trusted with her past as they had gone through something similar. (Y/N) had found out Nat’s past when she’d taken over the psychological care of the Avengers and the first time she spoke about her own past the assassin wasn’t sure if she was making a past up at first but she recognised the pain that they both shared. Nat was like a sister to her, where Wanda still seemed more distant and untrusting, and the team had become a family she’d never had before but she still didn’t feel right trying to be with Bucky when she felt he could be with someone much better than her. She knew Nat cared but in her mind, she still felt Bucky deserved better than her, that he deserved a family, that he should be with someone who could give him everything he needed.

 

“No, but he doesn’t need my own screwed up past to drag him back. You’ve seen what happens when he hears about Hydra, you think what happened to me would help him?!” She held her head gently and frowned softly shaking her head. “My crap isn’t going to help him, dragging him through all that seriously isn’t going to help his recovery, so can we drop this? He doesn’t need my crap right now.”

 

She’d never been good at talking about her own emotions, about the hell her life had been before Fury had taken her in, never really felt the need to tell anyone, yet Nat expected her to tell Bucky who had his own hell to deal with. She was glad when Nat finally seemed to drop the topic but warned her if she didn’t tell Bucky the truth soon then Nat was going to do something about it.

 

Over the next few weeks it seemed that Bucky and (Y/N) had grown a little distant. They still had their sessions together but they didn’t seem to interact the same way as they had before. They didn’t seem as close as they had been, sitting further apart during film night, avoiding being alone in a room together apart from the session, only making small talk with each other, and all the tension and hesitation from the pair seemed to frustrate their two best friends. Nat scolded her with just a look while Steve had tried to soothe whatever stressed his friend and encouraged him to speak with her again. It was both of their faults it was all changing, they’d both been treading on eggshells around each other when they’d never felt they needed to before, and the change in dynamic made both unsettled around each other. (Y/N) seemed to act more distant while Bucky just seemed to be in a poorer mood and more irritable than usual; even with Steve.

 

Steve and Nat had grown sick of the pair pussyfooting around each other and had planned to get the pair in a room together and make them talk out the fears they had both gone through. They were going to have both come to one of the smaller rooms training floor, lock them both inside together, and force the pair to confront their past and their fears with each other. They were giving them another week to get over whatever their minds were telling them was going to happen and when the pair only stayed distant they put their plan into action.

 

Steve had texted Bucky asking him to spot for him while he trained, no one else would do it anyway so it was a regular occurrence for Steve to ask for Bucky’s help last minute, and Nat had asked (Y/N) to come to the training room so they could talk; Nat often found it easier to talk as she trained or worked out so again it wasn’t something unusual. They were both coming from different ends of the facility and when they stepped into the room the pair froze and just stared at each other before hearing the locks clicking on each door. (Y/N)’s eye widened a fraction when she realised that she had been locked inside the room with the one person she hadn’t expected to be anywhere near her. She could see the uncertainty in Bucky’s eyes too as he realised they were locked in together until they heard the intercom crackle to life.

 

“Steve and I have had enough of the pair of you. You’ve both been miserable since Bucky’s confessions and somebody has a lot of explaining to do; she knows it. You’re both locked in here until you talk this all through because I’ve had it with you (Y/N). You think you don’t deserve to be happy because of what your parents did to you and you _both_ need to get everything off your chests with how you see each other. I now you both love each other so now’s your chance to get whatever fears you have out and see how each other reacts.” Nat’s voice was stern and clearly exasperated with everything that had been happening over the past month. “If you don’t start talking (Y/N), I will and you know I won’t hold back.”

 

There was a tension in the room still and (Y/N) felt her blood run cold with the thought of Nat telling Bucky everything. She glared at the camera in the corner of the room before she finally looked over to the ex-assassin; seeing the way his eyes darted around the room looking for an escape route. She knew this was her last chance to show she cared for him, to make sure she didn’t lose him, and if he rejects her for her past then she was sure that Nat would beat him for it. She could still look after him, could still work with him and help him, but she knew it wouldn’t be the same.

 

“(Y/N), you need to stop worrying about what Bucky’s going to think, and Bucky, you need to seriously stop doubting yourself. You’re not a monster or to be blamed for your actions like you think; (YN) has told you that well enough.” Steve’s stern and concerned voice took over for a moment; the captain clearly scolding Nat for her words.

 

“Bucky, I get you’ve had hell, that you had Hydra rip you apart and force you to become someone you’re not, but you’re not alone and you’re not a monster for what happened when you had no control over it.” (Y/N) shifted awkwardly and frowned softly as she stared at her feet. “But you’re not the only one who had been manipulated to do something you shouldn’t.”

 

She watched for his reaction, seeing him sit down and focus on her, before taking a deep breath and swallowing the lump in her throat. She’d only ever told Nat the truth about her past and the only other people that knew had found out from Nick after he helped her. The actions of her parents should have been a warning to those in SHIELD that something was going on behind the scenes. They had been members of the organisation, working as agents who were one of the more successful spy pairs, for most of their lives and had even met through SHIELD. When she’d been born, they created the image of the perfect family together with her mother staying home to care for them and there were even some agents who helped look after her. The first few years of her life had been happy, had been ‘normal’, but when she turned five they began to mould her into what they believed to be the perfect spy. They planned to make her into the perfect mole, someone to sink their claws deep into the organisation, and even at a young age, only thirteen, she began her missions with them.

 

They had begun to use her, to manipulate her love for them, they forced her to work with them even if it terrified her. They made sure to remind her that she was theirs and that she had no choice in what she did. She had to follow their commands and their actions whether she liked it or not. She was a tool to them, nothing more than that, yet she didn’t even realise at first. She had been used to help spy and assassinate, to get into spaces no one would expect a person to be, and had begun to kill people to please them. She’d been changed from an excited child to a weapon, exactly like Bucky but in a way that was almost more cruel, had been moulded into something much less human. She’d been made into a tool, something more than just a weapon due to the spy training as well, yet she hadn’t understood then what exactly was wrong. If she failed a mission, she didn’t deserve the meal her mother might cook, if she was spotted and attacked it was her fault and she had to find her own way out, she had to make up for her own mistakes and she had thought that was normal. It was only after Nick Fury had found out that she had finally learned the truth about what a childhood should have been like. Her parents had sent her ahead of them, meaning they could get there around the same time without the other agents they were going with getting suspicious, but they hadn’t expected Nick to come with them. They thought he’d sworn out of missions for good, only fighting when he needed to, but this was about a new training system that SHIELD planned to implement. They had seen the successes of the couple and hoped that the pair would help to train future agents increasing the success.

 

He had followed the pair through the mission, watched their every move, saw the way they acted only to notice someone else was there. They had new tech built by Tony to scan the building revealing where the enemy were hiding and it was how Nick had noticed the smaller body hiding in a duct system. He had thought, at first, she was an enemy hiding from them and sent some agents to grab her when came out to one of rooms ready to meet up with her parents. When she saw the SHIELD agents a first she thought she was being welcomed into the organisation officially only to end up in cuffs and carried to the nearest jet for Nick to meet. She was terrified of what the agents might do, having been warned that if the enemy caught her she would be left for dead, and her mind raced thinking that these weren’t true SHIELD agents until Nick and her parents walked onto the jet; her parents clearly nervous around the spy. He was furious when he saw the young teenager, scarred and beaten, sitting terrified in the jet. SHIELD had never allowed children to train for a reason and when he saw the girl his rage turned from her to her parents. She had been brought into a world that she should never have been a part of and when he had finally found out about her he knew it was too late to get her out of there.

 

Nick acted fast, knowing exactly who she was and who would be the only ones at fault. Nick had her taken out of their care as soon as possible, housed with agents the spy trusted most, and they were instantly stripped of all their successes; as well as being kicked out of the organisation. The pair were instantly ridiculed, ostracised by everyone they knew, or so Nick believed, yet they hadn’t heard the worst of it yet. After she had been in her new home for a week they discovered the truth of her presentation. There had barely been a scent, when she should have had no control of the scent output, the omega presentation that had been hidden from everyone was almost there but it just didn’t seem right. The agents had her checked by the doctors within SHIELD finding that the pair had done something that only infuriated Nick and the team more.

 

“They didn’t want heats to get in the way of missions, they were angry when I presented as an omega because that meant I was going to be useless during heats, so they dealt with the problem in the only way they thought they could.” As she’d told her past she’d sat down and tucked her knees up against her chest; staring at the floor. “They made sure I never had a heat again, made sure the heats could never become a problem, making sure in the process I couldn’t ever have a family either. I can’t give you a family, not matter what I do, I don’t deserve anything you deserve.”

 

Bucky had stayed quiet, listening carefully to her, through her whole history and frowned softly when he saw her curl in on herself. He moved to kneel below her and lay his hands on hers, which were wrapped around her legs, before he made sure that she was looking at him and not through him. He could see tears clinging to the corners of her eyes and wrapped his arms around her to hold her close.

 

“Oh (Y/N), you’re everything I could ever want, I didn’t understand just why your scent was so different but I never was interested in a family; especially not now. You think I’d want some little me running around and causing mayhem? You’ve seen how well I get to dealing with something like that, and yeah maybe if someone did have my kid I’d try, but I don’t need to have a family to be happy.” He rubbed her back gently as he felt her body shake with the sobs. “Seems like we’re much more alike than we thought. I didn’t think you’d be interested in me, in a freak or monster forced to kill anyone because he couldn’t fight to free his mind. I was sure you’d want nothing to do with me because of my past and the hell I caused ‘cause you’re the only person who’s heard everything, who knows everything I’ve been through and yet you stand beside me not expecting me to be some guy I don’t remember. I’m not some alpha that needs pups scampering, I just want to find a woman who understands me, who accepts me, and that woman is you; whether you’re an omega or not.”

 

The omega met the alpha’s brilliant, blue eyes, that seemed to hold tears of their own, as she listened to his words and felt his hands rub against her back gently to soothe her. He loved her, hell she was everything he’d ever hoped to find in a woman, and she could see the honesty in his eyes. He stroked her hair gently with a warm smile on his face and laughed softly.

 

“I can’t believe we screwed all this up, almost lost each other, ‘cause we were both sure we weren’t good enough for each other.” Bucky chuckled softly and she couldn’t help joining in as he held her and kissed her forehead. “Can we start over? Maybe this time actually try a date out rather than think we’re not gonna love each other.”

 

(Y/N) nodded happily and a cheer rang through the speaker system.


End file.
